Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Sandi - great wisdom as usual and I was already thinking along those lines. But let me clarify, I haven't booked a room, I was debating when/how to approach with W after she asked me via e-mail "Are you asking me to get a room"

I really don't think she'll agree to one, but after all these great posts, I will try. I might even wait another day or I might ask tonight.

If she were to agree, I would be anticipating ZERO physical contact, why, because we sleep in the same bed now and in the last month there has been physical contact only twice...the night of the suicide and the night after.

So there hasn't been an effort movement as of yet, because she hasn't agreed to a hotel and I haven't really broached the subject yet. And I expect the answer to be no...

So, if you were to tell her that you booked a room and that you realize both of you have been under a lot of strain for a long time and would just like for the two of you to relax and enjoy the social event with friends....and didn't want her to feel like she had to worry about you coming on to her, I think she would let her guard down a lot.

Are you suggesting I try the technique of actually booking the room and then using approach?