Please Advise!!!! I Could Use Some HELP

[undefeated]

No, it's really simple. He doesn't trust you. That's it.

P17 is absolutely 100% on the money. I also agree with now putting yourself in the shoes of the LBS. Just don't lose sight of the fact that you have to make something right that you broke.

As a LBS one of the greatest tools we have in DB'ing is to confuse the heck out of our WAS. We change, we 180, we GAL. And they wonder what we're up to! And they don't trust the changes. They are waiting for the other shoe to drop. So his mistrust is completely understandable.

Go S-L-O-W-L-Y!!!! The longer you are willing to take in making things "normal" again, the more time he has to assess you and believe that these are real changes.

Later last night I text messaged him to inform him of my arrival time for that weekend. Shortly there after, he decides to respond to me via text and said: "Don't get your hopes up to high and expect things to be like they were, cuz it's not gonna change anything at all, the divorce still stands and sex is definitely out, just so you know.

This, IMO, is a defense mechanism. You hurt him, and he wants to make it clear that he won't be opening himself up for that again. Win him back an inch at a time. Don't disagree about the divorce or his feelings. Just validate. Say something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'd still like to spend a pleasant weekend with you." Be calm. Breathe.

I think you also need to do what us LBS's do. Stop analysing everything. It is what it is what it is. He is willing to LIE to family and friends to spend time with you. Do you KNOW how good a chance that is? He wants to spend time with you but he doesn't yet trust you enough to tell family and friends that you guys are seeing each other again. Let him trust you. And stop pushing him. Stop pushing him. Stop pushing him. Chill. Relax. Let it happen. I know it's difficult but it's also imperative.

^^^^^^ Listen carefully to this; it's important.