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cannon Offline OP
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W informed that she is telling her parents today. do i contact them and tell my side or do i just let it ride?


M=37
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Married=10,T=12
D=10
D=8
WAW Bomb=1/12
EA confirmed=1/13
EA exposed=1/27
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Let it ride. You need to worry about you. They are HER parents and are going to side with her 99% of the time regardless of the issue.

If asked, tell the truth. Do not lie to shield her from the issues but do not contact the parents. It looks tit for tat or pissy.


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Originally Posted By: cannon
The OM's wife said to OM that my W was his forever person and that he did not love her, then she left him for another man, that she was dating before they M. So i will try to put pressure there, but i think there is no pressure to be gained there.


What what experience do you base your opinion on?

No offense, Cannon, but when you are in the "bomb" state, your instincts are usually WRONG. Mine certainly were!

Exposure to the OP's significant other, is the best thing you can do to bring pressure to bear on the affair. Affairs thrive on secrecy. Expose them, and they'll usually scurry like roaches for the exits.

Puppy

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cannon Offline OP
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it's not opinion, it was read from email.

i have a very important meeting that she needs me to be successful at later today, but keeps texting the OM and i made the mistake of looking at the logs. man it is making me angry.

no calls to check in on sick children, just right to texting the OM. it's all i can do not to call W and upchuck profanity on her.

I'm thinking the only pressure i can put on the A is her family. Do you think it will work? I don't think he will go away, she will need to get the "slap in the face"
I can't express how much this helps me, thanks for all of the advise.


M=37
W=40
Married=10,T=12
D=10
D=8
WAW Bomb=1/12
EA confirmed=1/13
EA exposed=1/27
Current In house separation
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 80
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cannon Offline OP
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how does a script go with the OM's W?

Last edited by cannon; 01/26/10 08:01 PM.

M=37
W=40
Married=10,T=12
D=10
D=8
WAW Bomb=1/12
EA confirmed=1/13
EA exposed=1/27
Current In house separation
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
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Quote:
I'm thinking the only pressure i can put on the A is her family. Do you think it will work?


No, you enforce boundaries with your wife and expose the OM to his W.

The work is for you to do not her family. They will find out soon enough and you don't want to be "spreading mess" with her family.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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cannon Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Coach


No, you enforce boundaries with your wife and expose the OM to his W.

The work is for you to do not her family. They will find out soon enough and you don't want to be "spreading mess" with her family.


do i expose to the OM W after setting the boundary(if she decides to continue the EA)


M=37
W=40
Married=10,T=12
D=10
D=8
WAW Bomb=1/12
EA confirmed=1/13
EA exposed=1/27
Current In house separation
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
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"Wife, I have decided that I will not share you with another man. It is disrespectful to me and a disgrace to my family for you to behave this way. If you continue to spend your time and energy with him, I will pack your bags and put them in the garage and I will contact his wife."

Calm, confident and decisive.

Do not divulge how you know, be prepared for spew, and be prepared to enforce the boundary. This is about her behavior that is unacceptable in your marriage. Do you pay her cell phone bill?


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
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cannon Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Coach
"Wife, I have decided that I will not share you with another man. It is disrespectful to me and a disgrace to my family for you to behave this way. If you continue to spend your time and energy with him, I will pack your bags and put them in the garage and I will contact his wife."


all of the above ... put them in the garage, i will contact his wife, and will speak the truth to anyone who asks."

better or worse? the OM's wife wants him to be with my W so she doesn't feel bad for leaving him.

Last edited by cannon; 01/26/10 09:15 PM.

M=37
W=40
Married=10,T=12
D=10
D=8
WAW Bomb=1/12
EA confirmed=1/13
EA exposed=1/27
Current In house separation
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You have already spoken to the OM's W?

Burt

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