Dream..Send Me A Sign..Turn Back the Clock

[LolaL]

Go have dinner. It's not like you have to make a decision tonight.

[BobbiJo]

Grr, what an annoying article! Oh, heaven forbid you realize the error of your ways and try to work things out with the man you married. No, you should just stick it out and go through the motions with the guy who doesn't want a commitment! Dumb@ss....

[LolaL]

I know. I seriously saw red when I saw that article. I wanted to hunt the author down and really smack the ever loving shiznit out of her.

[MichelleLT]

Yes, remember the reasons things didn't work out! Don't try to fix them, don't recognize a committed family man who is willing to forgive and for whom you obviously still have feelings for. Run! He's obviously evil personified!

[LolaL]

Geez...yes remember the reasons, so that you can change those reasons. Avoid the same behaviors.

Look people do stupid things. We all know that. But if you have a husband, albeit ex, that still loves you, that you still love, why not try to work it out? I think that guy is exceptional...willing to take her AND another man's child!

[nikblondiew]

Michelle - so funny when stated that way.

[mishka422]

I'll play devil's advocate here.

Until you've sorted out what happened with the marriage and what you want for yourself now, regardless of the men in your life, you risk diving back into unresolved problems.

Doesn't this part of her answer about not rushing back to her xh make sense? It sounds very much like this woman left on a whim and it wasn't very long ago based on what she says. She has realized her mistake but then again, something led her away from him to start with. Does she know what it was? Is it fixed? She needs to answer those questions for herself before she returns to her xh and risks hurting herself and her children more.

Isn't that what we all expect to do? Look hard at our M's and see the flaws. See what we could have improved on, where we turned left instead of right, discover what words would have been less hurtful or driven less of a wedge.

That is how we grow. That is how we learn to have better R's and ultimately better M's. It sounds to me like the author gave her that exact answer. Find out your own mind before you mess with other peoples lives.

[MichelleLT]

Hmmm. That's a good point. And good advice. But I read the article in a different light.

It's obviously hard to tell from such a short article, but she was a WAS, had an A, had a baby, is with a BF who doesn't want to get M or have more kids...and I assumed he was A partner.

That now the newness has worn off and she realized she threw away a stable family life and a guy who, despite his faults, was a good dad and husband. She, like most who have As, is thinking about going back to their spouse. And like most WASs, gets advice not to do it because the reason she left must have been good therefore the R has no lasting potential (which is patently false).

[LolaL]

Hmm. You bring up good points Mishka. We do that...reexamine ourselves so we can make sure we don't make the same mistakes in the future.

I agree with Michelle, I read it in a different light, and just assumed that the author was blaming the problems all on the xh. But you're right, it does talk about resolving issues first.

[mishka422]

So who is up for doing this movie thing? I'm game! Name the movie and I'll go see it and discuss. It'll be like a book club but with less time commitment.

Of course, I can suggest a really great, fun series of books to you all if you are in to that. Let me know if you're interested and I'll give you the details. It's considered Urban Fantasy.