Thanks everyone for the input, it's feels good to get some feedback.
motherof3, as far as the reason my W gave for moving out well, she's had several. One was to see if this marriage was worth saving. Another was that she didn't want to hurt me anymore. And yet another was if she didn't do this(move out)she was going to go crazy. Now I can't honestly say I know the reason why she did this. You must understand that this was a lady who for most of our 25+ years together "seemed" to be happy. She almost never asked anything of me, usually never questioned my decisions,etc. Until about 3 or 4 years ago she started, in a very subtle way, to tell me how she was feeling about things. Until finally "it all came out at once" sort of thing. W has always been a very happy, positive person. Someone people are drawn to. Now, she is still pretty much this way, except with me. We dated for three months before we were married, she regrets that. Says we should have dated longer(I tend to agree). 10 months after our wedding, we had our first child. So we really didn't have time to get to know each other. We've had job/financial troubles off and on over the years, although the last 12+ years have been very stable.
Deep, you commented, "The W you are in love with is probably missing". This is exactly the way it feels to me. W is like a totally different person. It's like a MLC, change of life, type of thing. Previously she would have NEVER had the conversations she's had with the OM. She was the last person you would ever think would get involved in an EA. How do I deal with the OM?
Gypsy, you commented, "Are you're comfortable with another man being the emotional confidant with your wife?" No I am not. This is one thing that is a constant battle for me. Plus, my W and I work in the same building, but on separate floors. The OM works right across the hall from her. So, she's in contact with him all throughout the day. It is VERY difficult for me to deal with this, especially when it's seemingly "in my face". I don't think two people can have "friends" of the opposite sex without it leading to other things, especially when both of them(W and OM) are having issues in their marriages. What do you think about this?
As far as the A goes I'm going to "do nothing". This will be extremely hard for me I know because this is not what I naturally want to do. This is coming up in a couple of weeks so I need all the encouragement I can get.
