Fast forward to today. We had lunch, leftovers from last night and she starts talking about volunteering for an overseas remote to the desert for a year. That and a couple of other things make me wonder if she's really ready to commit back to us. She made the comment that if I had to think about us this hard then I obviously don't want us. Ok, I didn't say anything. Later after I left, I thought maybe she's right but then again her magnitude of infidelity and cruelty in the past has made me a little gun shy about us so I don't think it's something I shouldn't think about hard.
I can get that. My W also did some weird stuff. I'm 'trying things out' with her now, trying to see if I can and want to make things work. It is much easier to say that you had no choice than to say that you chose to leave. She's done a lot from what you've said, so don't beat yourself up over it, but I think it is honourable that you're trying~
