#2: WAH separated from us & I'm on the DBing path

[flowmom]

Thanks for your post CG.

You mentioned on another thread you felt it was impossible for somebody without children to understand your position.

Actually, I was recommending that the poster get a MC who has children as I think that it would be incredibly hard for a single, childless MC to help a couple who is in the throes of parenting stress.

Could it be possible that you don't understand the position of people that have been through what you are only starting to experience, in some cases, for multiple years?

Absolutely. Which is why I value the advice of every single person who responds to my sitch. I know that I am new at this. If it doesn't seem like I'm following your or anybody else's advice, it could be that I'm still absorbing it. Although I'd like to discuss positive personal changes in my thread, I also see my thread as a place to write about what's on my mind to get it out of my head so that I can focus on positive things that I need to focus on.

Every post seems so focused on your H and his issues and really, you need to focus on your issues and if you are not ready to do that how about finding some solutions for problems you have mentioned several times?

Although it may seem like I am not focusing on my own issues, I am. I am getting feedback from a couple of close friends that I am doing really well on focusing on my own issues and finding solutions. Two days ago I made a major change in the area of parenting that addresses some of the problems that I'm having (and a major cause of M problems indirectly). I didn't post about it because I didn't want to get into the details of it.

OldPilot has advised me to learn more about MLC, and I am finding it helpful to learn about it, although it does involve more focus on H's issues than mine.

Your suggestions for specific child-related solutions are appreciated and some would probably be helpful. The reality is that my focus on solutions right now is 1. the change that I started 2 days ago and 2. working on ds' diagnosis because interventions and funding for them could potentially alleviate a huge amount of parenting work/stress. I've done a lot for #2 in the last week, including having an appt with a doc and getting a fast-track appt for a pediatrician appt this Friday. Even implementing solutions, getting support, and outsourcing tasks takes time so I am trying to identify priorities and work on my priorities. The intention of what I wrote in the other thread was to be supportive to another member who is going through a really tough time (very sick small child), not to vent about my own sitch. Sorry if it came off otherwise.