Question

[awest1217]

H still has not seen S at all, and even in our conversation last night, it was all about H, but he still never asked about S. I don't get it. Anyway, we are going to have dinner tomorrow, and I told H I want from him a plan on coming home. We have discussed what I expect and so I am not going to say anything about that anymore. I know in DB it says to be cautious if WAS comes home unexpectedly (although I knew it would happen around now because he doesn't want to pay rent) but I believe it says to let them come home. Everything I have read says that you really can't work on a marriage until both parties are in the same house. I agree because I don't trust him at all, and at least at the house I could begin to trust him. He knows the boundaries so I am going to not talk about them again for a little bit and only ask if he wants to go to my counselor or his. It doesn't matter to me, I just want to start going. He seems resistant now, but like DB says, he is going to grieve the loss of OW (although I don't understand it, it is still somethign I have to understand) so I am going to try to give him some space, be kind and see where things go.

I am very scared and need to pray a lot, but the only thing that gives me hope is Christmas. We had such a good time at Christmas that if H can cut out OW and really change just that part of him, I believe we can work because we had such a great time. Now on to the next hard step.

I think whenever he does come back, that day, I want to start reading "Love Dare" again and put that into action again. I read it over the summer and I think that it will remind me to be kind and show love to H and through it all hopefully with time, the wounds will heal and never be opened again.