Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

{{{hugs}}} back P. Your posts mean a lot to me and give me a lot of support.

I'm crying over thinking that I have not done anything in retaliation to this man, I haven't fought with him this whole time, I've had the door open for him and I've been treated with such disgusting cruelty. I've respected my marriage. I thought this man loved me and he purposely hurts me time and time again. I am shutting the door on him. I never thought I'd feel regret over being married to him, but now I do. I loved the wrong person. I gave my heart to the wrong person. He has returned it a chopped up, shredded, and stomped on mess. But I will survive. I pray to God to someday find the person deserving of my love. I want to love again.

[newmama]

((((DaybyDay)))) You WILL survive and you WILL find love again and your %$^&*WH WILL regret this!!! At least you have your kids from the marriage with him. Karma karma karma is going to find him.

Please keep posting even if it is to vent and say how you are feeling. You have done the right thing by not retaliating and staying civil. I don't know what else to say but my thoughts and love are with you!!

[Day by Day]

I do hope karma finds him just for justice. I don't want him to want to come back now. I don't want someone capable of doing this to me. No MLC excuse or alien fog BS... it's his character. Why be like this to me? Be decent and civil. Yeah, the opposite of love is indifference... a whole lot better than this cr@p he's dishing out to me.

I'm so glad to see here on the threads that there are decent men out there. Ones that do (unfortunately) suffer for love like I have and aren't vindictive and wouldn't treat their wife (and children) this way. There are men with hearts. I won't let this experience change my honesty and trust in loving.

Thanks newmama. I appreciate your support too.

[Day by Day]

I still haven't received the D papers, but I confirmed with the clerk of the court that he has filed... over two weeks ago. Guess he's trying to get it by default.

I'm numb over coming to this. I'm not hoping for reconciliation. It's too far gone and he'd have to become a totally new person. The lies and cruelty are too much for me. I feel so damaged by this and don't want to be. Got to use my brain and not my heart. My nerves are shot.

I really hope I can have another R someday... can't see it now. Don't know how others are dating... this is not a criticism. I got so annoyed today by a man flirting with me a lunch. I just want to be left alone and not hear the stupid BS trying to impress me. It's all lies... I've had enough for two lifetimes.

[june72]

I am so sorry DBD. You have not been treated right for quiet a while now.

[chatterbug]

DbD I am glad you are going to move forward with your life.

Please remember that flirting is harmless. And treat it as such. Concentrate on your running, school and children. But most importantly concentrate on yourself.

Make the second half of your life a billion times better than the first.

[Day by Day]

DbD I am glad you are going to move forward with your life.

Please remember that flirting is harmless. And treat it as such. Concentrate on your running, school and children. But most importantly concentrate on yourself.

Make the second half of your life a billion times better than the first.

Thanks so much june and cutter.

Cutter, I do see flirting as harmless and at another time I'd find it fun. But I left out that he was persistent even after giving him the signals I wasn't interested. I'm just spent and can only handle exchanging short, polite conversation. This sitch has me irritable and I don't want to be rude to anyone. I'm fighting hard not to feel bitter. Last night while STBX was dropping off the kids I heard his voice affectionate to the kids... the way he used to be to me and it felt like daggers.

But I won't let STBX ruin me. He's only one person and I have many lovable and loving people in my life that value me and love me back. Why the he!! should his opinion or actions define me. His value system is worthless. I've got to remember that.

My second half of my life WILL be billions of times better than the first!! Going to surround myself with the people who love me for the rest of this week. I'm going for some pampering at the salon tomorrow. I'll leave feeling fabulous after.

[P17]

You know, this may be out of line, but I actually look at my first marriage as the studying and test. Next marriage I have will be the actual real world implementation.

I have learned so much from W and the split that it's just unbelievable.

You are a good person DbD and even though we are a few hundred (maybe thousand) miles apart I feel we know each other pretty much. It's been you, me, Newmama and Cutter for a while now., We're not leaving you. You have friends here. How many people in the US or Canada say they know a TRUE Highlander (and you all think you do or are descended from one ... LOL). I even wear a kilt ... yes, I do (okay, the last time was almost 4 years ago at my wedding but I had the kilt on).

Take care DbD. We're here for you. Remember one thing, he can;t hurt you anymore with a divorce than he already has. You are going to get closure, not the closure you want but you will get it. Take care.

[Day by Day]

Happy to see you P. Nope, not out of line. Guess a good way to see it. I guess I could see this M as studying and the test. Don't know if I'll retake it tho. I am seeing it as finding myself and putting up boundaries in a M. I was naive, gullible, etc and well... I've learned. I really liked cutter's list on his thread (1 vote for it to be a sticky) and it's exactly what should be expected. That's what I would want/need.

I feel I know you pretty well too... so glad to have you in my corner as well as newmama and cutter. It's helped so much having you all with me as I go thru this he!! and for the understanding while I cried and for just listening. Meant a lot when you would rally for me and I felt your pat on the back all the way over here P. It gave me strength You all are the best. I hope so much to read success stories for each of you no matter the outcome. Your strength and determination is admirable.

Oh so cool... now I *can* say I have a genuine Highlander friend!! Kilt and all!

[P17]

I was naive, gullible, etc and well...

DbD you were in love. We all were. Don't beat yourself up. We all did it.

I've learned.

That is the important thing but don't turn your heart away from love in the future.

But don't s I really liked cutter's list on his thread (1 vote for it to be a sticky) and it's exactly what should be expected. That's what I would want/need.

I love Cutters list to, however much I hate him for it I will hopefully see Cutter in April / May this year so, without being so bold, you are all welcome (how cool would that be - an International / Highland get together :))

Your strength and determination is admirable.

Oh goodness no. You've put up with far more sh*t than I have. And you're still here. I said to Cutter a while a go that I wished our WAS's could see us now. I think they'd be shocked.

Oh so cool... now I *can* say I have a genuine Highlander friend!! Kilt and all!

Oh yes, I had the kilt, the dagger and the attitude I am currently a genuine highlander. I have two Castles within about 5 minutes drive from here. The last Clan battle to take place in Scotland happened in the town I'm in (Google that and you can find out where I am :))

Kilt .. FREEDOM ... (sorry :))