I understand you have logistical matters to address (sitter for the children). Honestly, I feel pressured and smothered reading your posts. They sound *so* urgent. The job thing I get but the hotel issue is not urgent.
I would get the sitter for the evening and not an overnight. If your W mentions it further let her know you opted not to book a hotel room as you felt the additional pressure would be straining BUT that doesn't mean you can't have a nice at home (or something along those lines).
I know it is hard but you are trying so hard to gain control and that will never work.
