Journalling more ... MC said how hurt I am by H. MC confirmed that H can be critical, dismissive, cold, mean. I cried when he validated my hurt. But there is a new layer of hurt, which rr22 was talking about. The hurt of being left. The hurt of feeling like H thinks I'm so awful he's better off away.
Besides the usual hurtful stuff that brought us to a broken M, how do you people deal with this pain? Tonight I did well with my 180s while recognizing how hard it is to stick to them when hurting.
Hi H4L,
This is what I am referring to on my thread... I am currently realizing I am hurting so badly .... still..... I don't know the answer to this. I have an IC appt. tonight and want to process this with her. My H is home, re-committed to the M, trying... I feel like I should be doing better. But, now that the anxiety of "will he or won't he leave me?" is gone, all the hurt and anger is just bubbling up.
I realized while on my work commute yesterday that I am just plain broken hearted. My H, the love of my life, who I trusted with every fibre of my being for over twenty years, shattered my heart. And, it is still in a million pieces. I just hurt.
I wish I had a good answer for you.. I hope someone else does. If my IC has some ideas I will let you know. sorry to not be a help... but hopefully it helps just to not feel alone in your feelings.
