Bunny, What a great side benefit with Jazzie: bonding and increased visits from your daughter. Just great.
Originally Posted By: SpyBunny
...he did say he would try talking again this spring if that was something that I really wanted to do. I appreciate that, but it felt like that was the wrong attitude. It won't work if he's doing it only because I want to, he has to want it too.
Amen. Or it's just patronizing manipulation. Oh, and from a few posts back:
Originally Posted By: SpyBunny
What is he out so far?
He's out one pliable victim of his degrading mindf*cking ways. He's out everything he "Svengali'ed" you into. He's out someone to do his bidding.
And you? You're just out! You, Chester, Jazzie and D: moving along just great!
Oh, and by the way: welcome to The Underwater Club!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I have a fur blanket to keep me warm while watching TV in the evenings- Chester lounging on my chest as I pet him, and Jazzie snoozing on my feet and legs. (Don't worry- Chester is safe in my arms!) Jazzie keeps me company at night too- I have her doggie bed at the bottom corner of my bed, and I really like having her there. D17 totally loves the dog too and is really happy- this was a great idea all around.
I'm debating when I should approach H and suggest that he have his atty start drafting a separation agreement. Do I just go ahead and get it over with, or wait a couple more months until spring time? I don't know what to do about that. There really isn't an urgent reason to do it now, or a reason to wait until later. (Although later *might* be a bit better- hopefully the value of the house will go up a bit the closer we get to summer. It's a gamble on that issue...) I have no idea how I'm going to feel once we get that paperwork started. Right now I'm feeling fairly calm- probably because there is some comfort in knowing that we're still married at the moment even if we're physically apart.
I have a fur blanket to keep me warm while watching TV in the evenings- Chester lounging on my chest as I pet him, and Jazzie snoozing on my feet and legs. (Don't worry- Chester is safe in my arms!) Jazzie keeps me company at night too- I have her doggie bed at the bottom corner of my bed, and I really like having her there. D17 totally loves the dog too and is really happy- this was a great idea all around.
That sounds peaceful, bunny, and you sound very good! I am happy for you!
On your next question:
This is totally up to you, however, if you start on separation agreement, don't inform H to begin, and wait on him and what he wants.
If and when you decide, you start for you, and what you want, with your attorney, and then have your attorney inform them. You can think about Mediation if you so decide, and bring that up if you want.
My point is: Don't let him lead and drive that bus. You do it, because then you are not reacting to what he is doing, nor playing to what he wants. You lead from a place of strength for you, and what you want.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
This is totally up to you, however, if you start on separation agreement, don't inform H to begin, and wait on him and what he wants.
If and when you decide, you start for you, and what you want, with your attorney, and then have your attorney inform them. You can think about Mediation if you so decide, and bring that up if you want.
My point is: Don't let him lead and drive that bus. You do it, because then you are not reacting to what he is doing, nor playing to what he wants. You lead from a place of strength for you, and what you want.
Ditto You're doing great... keep it up! Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
This is totally up to you, however, if you start on separation agreement, don't inform H to begin, and wait on him and what he wants.
If and when you decide, you start for you, and what you want, with your attorney, and then have your attorney inform them. You can think about Mediation if you so decide, and bring that up if you want.
My point is: Don't let him lead and drive that bus. You do it, because then you are not reacting to what he is doing, nor playing to what he wants. You lead from a place of strength for you, and what you want.
Ditto You're doing great... keep it up! Peace Bridge
Double ditto.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
