MB28 When my ex found out about me i was somewhat relieved and devastated and I do not mean that in a metaphorical sense either. I have been on both ends of the spectrum. I was cheated on and found out and I cheated and got caught.
There is no easy way to do it. You do it and get it done. No matter how long you wait the pain will still be there in my experience.
The question is, and i am being brutally honest here, how much do you want your H to suffer when you do tell him? Because he either will suffer or he will be like any man and deny deny deny, lie some more, make you feel crazy, deny some more and deny it till he dies.
If it where me and it has been, I would seek to disjoint that affair as quickly as possible. I would start with the OW and confront her. But remember that she may not know about you. Maybe she does maybe she doesn't.
Don't back down and think it is your fault you were cheated on. I have trouble realizing what i did. I have no real excuse for what i did. I did not love anyone i was with. Maybe your H does. Maybe he doesn't. But those maybes won't go away till you confront him and or her.
I could be way off on this. I probably don't have any right to say this to you or anyone. But i thought i would offer the perspective from the other side.
Good luck. If you have the capacity to forgive, that will hurt him even more. The guilt you feel from that is unmeasurable.
