Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

I still haven't received the D papers, but I confirmed with the clerk of the court that he has filed... over two weeks ago. Guess he's trying to get it by default.

I'm numb over coming to this. I'm not hoping for reconciliation. It's too far gone and he'd have to become a totally new person. The lies and cruelty are too much for me. I feel so damaged by this and don't want to be. Got to use my brain and not my heart. My nerves are shot.

I really hope I can have another R someday... can't see it now. Don't know how others are dating... this is not a criticism. I got so annoyed today by a man flirting with me a lunch. I just want to be left alone and not hear the stupid BS trying to impress me. It's all lies... I've had enough for two lifetimes.