Hopeless feelings

[Gnosis]

I have kept my emotions under control since last nights discovery of the A. H and OW still have no idea that I know. I’m still devastated; however I do feel a sense of calm now that I have no doubts. I felt like I was going crazy with wondering if H was having an affair or not.

MB, you are in an emotional state. You do NOTHING while you are like this. This is when mistakes happen.

After H went home he texted me “Are you home”, I didn’t reply. Then he tried to call me, again I didn’t answer. Then he called our daughter and asked where I was. Of course I told my daughter I was going to a make-up party.

Good. Don't answer or speak to him for the next 48 hours until you are cool, calm and collected again.

I’m not sure how to expose my findings with H. I will see him tonight, and have been thinking about how to bring it up.

I don't know your sitch, I saw dburt's request for assistance for you. I'm not an expert in affair busting... the one thing I do know is this:

YOU HAVE ONLY ONE CHANCE when exposing, so DO IT RIGHT.

Avoid all contact with your H for the next 48 hours. I don't care what you need to do... take the kids and get out of the house if you have to. Go to friends, family or someone. You need a plan on how to take care of this.

Another thing I can tell you is this: Your H may try to deny everything... even with all the evidence... CHEATERS LIE.

I know I can’t control the whole conversation, but I do have some ideas of what I want to say.

You're right there... so this is why you need the "time out." To gather your thoughts, get advice here and plan your entire approach.

I plan on saying something like this. “So what did you do last night?” He’ll lie of course, my response will be, “You didn’t go work-out at the recreation center”, this is where I seen them in the parking lot. Not sure what his response will be, but I plan on saying “It looked like you were getting a good work-out in your truck with her”.

Bad idea. I don't have the right words for you, but all of the above are the wrong ones.

Then sometime during this conversation I plan on telling him to tell the OW she has 48 hours to confess to her husband or I’m telling him.

DON'T DO THIS! Your goal is to BUST the affair... not give them time to prepare their "backstory" and lies. Puppy will tell you to speak to OW's H first and I agree with him. This will be a two-pronged approach. Affairs thrive in secret. When exposed they usually die. This may not happen. The betrayed H has less of a chance to turn his W around than you do. So tread carefully here.

I desperately need advice on if what I want to say is ok. Please anyone 2x4’s or anything else.

Then please take my advice and disappear from your H's presence for the next 48 hours until you calm down and are better prepared for this.