This is the area I'm not sure how to proceed on... When he's accusing me of things that I'm not responsible for, or that he's brought on himself, do I stand my ground or not? I don't want to make a misstep here..
Try to just "validate" by saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry you feel that way." Leave it as short and sweet as you can.
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Do I put off looking for "small signs" until he comes back to earth (if he ever does)?
Try to avoid this if you can - that is not detachment. Believe me, I know first hand. It is easy to get caught up in analyzing every little action or word and it serves no purpose other than keeping you wrapped up in the drama.
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Now. Should I accept any requests to meet with him (though I don't think I can not be emotional right now)?
Not if you don't want to/can't. Make plans and GAL so you are not always available if he does ask. If you don't have specific plans and he asks, you can always say you have plans (even if it is just sitting at home reading a book) and leave it at that. He doesn't need to know your every move.
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How does dealing with the MLCer differ from the DR process? Does Acting As if only apply once they are human again?
Now! Start acting "as if" you will be okay with out him and start taking care of you and living for you and eventually you will feel "as if" as well! Use this time to work on you and do things for you. Try not to worry about what he is doing and let him spin.
