Cutterbug has some good advice, I think. You didn't say anything untrue or even particularly vicious, so don't apologize. He doesn't deserve it.
And as someone thoughtfully reminded me, "Things didnt get as messed up as they are today with one single action, so one single action isnt going to fix it, or doom it. Cut yourself a break and have some hot cocoa!"
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
Whew! Thanks for the advice...it gave me courage. I just smiled when he came in the room(late). And that was it. He left when it was over.
I am sucked into R talk so easily, it is better I stay away from contact altogether.
BTW: in the email, i said I was sorry in more of a "I pity you" kind of way. So why didn't I just say that???? Clearly conveying my thoughts is a goal for me, for sure.
Oh and the link I noted in the email is a good thread. I recommend everyone read it.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
I am still recovering from seeing him yesterday. Sad. Yuckky..
I am getting back on the horse...or wagon...or whatever.
Ha! DS told me today that he told his Dad yeaterday at the meeting that "if you don't choose Mom, I am not your son anymore." No wonder H split so fast from the meeting. How sad for him. I talked with DS about it...he is so angry. The IC's we've been to haven't clicked with him. They are too grandmaish or too much like WH. Anyone know of forums like this for teens?
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
Sorry it was a rough day. Ditch the e-mail in the trash folder, take a deep breath, and keep looking forward. It means absolutely nothing, just as it sounds. He is feeling sorry for himself most likely, possibly feeling you out to see how you are feeling. In any event,as long as he is with her, his words are complete crap.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
I think at a minimum he is seeing how you feel...you are doing NC right? What did you do with the email?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
yes, I am NC. I have read the email, and reread it, and reread it.
Over it today, Thanks to all of your support. In the past I might have used it as a spring board to throw all kinds of stuff at him. This is much better for me! Thanks!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
I haven't posted here for awhile. Nothing much was happening. I have been keeping up with the rest of you though. I have been living my life and trying to keep the kids on track, getting projects done around here, seeing friends etc. Not posting kept my feelings at bay...I don't want to dwell on the loneliness, especially since the peacefulness is so nice.
Until last week....
DS13 was diagnosed with anxiety and Depression last spring. (Medicated with Zoloft, Welbutrin and concerta now) He has had lots of behavior problems at school. He has been a bully target since 4th grade, and responds with anger. I have been fighting with the school all year to meet his needs, but they just want him out. Now they say suspension for the rest of the year, so find him a new school. He crumpled a test and threw it a the teacher. Disrespectful YES! A threat? NO. Now the kid has "drop foot" Paralysis of his left foot. No etiology known yet. We are headed to the neuro today. Pediatrician and orthopaedic are stumped (ha ha) They have ruled out medication, blood, muscle, and spine disorders. All this means I had to come out of the dark and deal with WH, who is still living in scuzzy motel with OW. I have been calm, albeit upset about DS. Only had to see him once. He looks terrible, even tho he is "On vacation"! He hasn't gone to any of the school meetings or Dr appts but calls to find out what was said. In these conversations, he goes on to talk about his life as if I was an old friend! Yesterday, I told him I was not his friend, but his wife whom he left.
So what do I do now. How should I be? I cannot remember how I was so I could 180. Talking after 10 weeks is a 180.
I just want to be done with all of this. I do not need him to help me through this. DS does. He has only seen DS once in 10 weeks!
All I want to hear from him is "I dumped the ho, Let's fix our family."
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
