Every one of you is right...I know it. I do. And the only person in this equation who can change things, is me. He won't bc obv he is comfortable the way things are. Even though he complains and says he is miserable, if he were that miserable he would take actions to change.
And that applies to me, too.
Honestly?
Part of it just feels like shutting the barn door after the cow got out, so to speak.
All of a sudden I just go pitch dark. Don't reply to any texts or emails or calls except the kids.
I don't play into his games, I don't spend any time with him.
Those are all things I need to do, and they are things I needed to do 2+ years ago, if not 7 years ago when he first had an affair!
That doesn't seem like a random, out of nowhere course of action at this point?
Really, I am asking that question. Sad, isn't it?
Guess I need to embrace the words of George Eliot:
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
Ok going to use the words of a hard rockin' song as my new anthem: I love myself today Not like yesterday I'm cool, I'm calm, I'm gonna be ok, uh huh I love myself today Not like yesterday Take another look at me now
Sad, isn't it? 
