Did I mention that I got this e-mail after a horrible day of work-----a 1st grader that didn't make it home on the bus----found 45 minutes later at a friend's house, followed by my D12 throwing up all over her new bedroom carpet? Just got the rug shampooed and put up, and then read my e-mail. Was a great cap to all I was dealing with, including the flood damage from the week before. Not that it matters..................but it all ads up.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
Yup. And GAL on top of it. At times most of us want to tell our S off and let them know our feelings. But they already know our feelings and telling them doesn't do a bit of good. It usually makes things worse as with my own W it made her pull back even more.
You just have to hop back on that horse. We all fall off now and then.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
After all the emotional e-mails I sent, I finally got an e-mail in return last night. It essentially says he is sorry for sending the e-mail----thought it was ok, since he's asked for D by email before. Promises to be compassionate. Only wants met to hire a lawyer that he can work with "informally."
Yes, I replied. Calmly.
I will hire the lawyer, but will give strict instructions that she is not to do anything but represent my interests and what I want. I truly believe he expects to be able to contact her and work with her - to write up the divorce for him (since he is not a divorce lawyer) and then have her file it for me.
I don't know. I really don't have a choice here. And it sucks. And I'll move forward.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
I don't know. I really don't have a choice here. And it sucks. And I'll move forward.
Yes, it does suck and your H has left no options about moving forward with getting an attorney. You have the right attitude. Your attorney will be representing YOU. You let your attorney know what it is you want or don't want...that even means you can tell your attorney that you don't want the D. Unfortunately, that won't have any bearing on the process but maybe it can be part of the record that you were an unwilling participant.
I hope you stop beating yourself up. We LBSs are just trying to make it through each day while picking up the pieces of our lives. Sure there can be varying degrees of better ways to handle things, but as long as you are doing what you can to move forward, is there really any right or wrong here?
Does your H think he needs to see a psychologist? Hopefully he will follow through and face his issues.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other and life will get better.
