I called H last night to get a date we could meet. He just said I don't want to meet, I want to come home. He sounded very sad and miserable. I said I would still like to meet and he said why so that started a whole 1 hour conversation (during which S overflowed the sink...joys of a toddler ). It wasn't too harsh or anything, but very straight. I told him that we need to talk to make sure this isn't like October. He said he wants to come home because "I was right". He left because he thought he could do better without me and he can't. He said he can't live on his own, can't manage his finances, can't take care of a house, can't do anything. He said the reason we worked is because we both "knew our roles". I was the man and he was the woman. He doesn't ever make decisions and still doesn't being alone. I said that I had changed and don't want that life back. He said that he hadn't changed at all and won't ever change. He said he will give me all of his electronic devises and not have any friends ever because there is no one who will be his friend (except OW). I said I am not ok with that because I want a healthy relationship where H has friends and knows not to cross the line. I also said I still wouldn't trust that he isn't seeing or talking to OW because there are so many ways he could still see her. It is just crazy.
Finally I said that since he wants to come home we need to set a plan. Does he want to just jump in? Date for a while? Then he hung up on me and turned his phone off the rest of the night. I first e-mailed him to make sure his phone didn't die. Then once I figured out he had turned it off, I cried and cried. I think the last 3 weeks I have just pushed all those feelings of love down and let the anger cover them so I could make it through my day, but they all surfaced when he ignored me again. Before going to be, I sent him an e-mail stating what I want in a relationship because I have changed and my needs are different. I don't want to me the man and wife anymore. I want to be the wife and be treated like a girl. It kind of read like a greeting card or poem. I added things like wants to take me out to show me off, to doesn't lie to me, to many other things, but what I am most proud of is the ending line..."a husband who wants to come home not because he can't live alone, but because he can't live without me"
I really want to text him and ask him to dinner tonight or tomorrow because I still really want to have some direction in my life and move on. I am sure that isn't the best thing to do, but I don't want to wait another 3 weeks for him to contact me.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
). It wasn't too harsh or anything, but very straight. I told him that we need to talk to make sure this isn't like October. He said he wants to come home because "I was right". He left because he thought he could do better without me and he can't. He said he can't live on his own, can't manage his finances, can't take care of a house, can't do anything. He said the reason we worked is because we both "knew our roles". I was the man and he was the woman. He doesn't ever make decisions and still doesn't being alone. I said that I had changed and don't want that life back. He said that he hadn't changed at all and won't ever change. He said he will give me all of his electronic devises and not have any friends ever because there is no one who will be his friend (except OW). I said I am not ok with that because I want a healthy relationship where H has friends and knows not to cross the line. I also said I still wouldn't trust that he isn't seeing or talking to OW because there are so many ways he could still see her. It is just crazy. 
