The seeming ease with which they come and go is painful. I think Kaini's suggestion about self soothing seems a key skill to learn in this situation. If it's any consolation, I think they do have mixed feelings that they hide. As a result, I think they come across even colder than they really are. And if they're depressed, that adds another layer of coldness to it. Also, they are angry sometimes. My H has expressed to me that he holds me responsible for putting us in this situation. Even though he claims he realizes his actions contributed in some way, he still seems to hold me responsible for his great pain and suffering. Add anger, hiding what positive and mixed emotions there are from you, his stress or depression and it equals seeming coldness. There is no choice but to figure out a way to self soothe in the interim.
