Sydney, I'm new to this board and this is my first time posting. I just wanted to let you know that this is where detaching comes in. Your H is a different person than he was. You can go dark and detach from this person. Anything he says or does, do not take it personally. For your own sanity do not try to defend yourself or talk "sense" into him, it won't work. GAL and working on yourself prepares you for two eventualities. Either it paves the way for your H's return or you will be able to go on and be happy in the life that you choose.
I understand the intense pain and anger that you feel. By doing the above it gets better. I know there is so much you want to vent to him and get off your chest. Save your breath and vent somewhere other than to him. It just makes him more confused and angry and you even more resentful of his treatment of you.
At some time, probably quite a while from now your H will get through his tunnel and the fog will clear. Knowledge is power and the more you research MLC the better understanding you will have of what your H is going through. I've gotten to the point where I feel sorry for what my H is going through and he's living with the OW. I can't imagine the firestorm in his head. The depression and guilt is taking a toll on his health. Watching this is heartbreaking, but I know that there isn't anything I can do about it, but accept it.
From what I understand MLC is a journey that must go on to completion. To try and stop it or reason with a MLCer just prolongs the process and drags it out. Detach, let go, and let it play out. Take your own journey in the meantime and find out what YOU want. I know that you think that your H has all the power in this because he has called the shots to this point. Take your power back. I have found out that the things that my H said to me that I had the strongest reaction to are the things that I felt guilty about. Those are the things that I have worked on in myself, but the one thing you have to understand in all of this is that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT he is going through this.
