I would suggest you read Passionate Marriage. You will have to read it with an open mind and dont get discouraged by the NOT so easy text (at least it wasnt for me but I am Greek so maybe you will be fine).
It explains very well the idea/concept of calming (he calls it soothing) yourself and "holding on to yourself" and how postively these affect your R, ESPECIALLY during a crisis or difficult times.
I thought I would mention this because in your list of goals and bsteps you mention it a lot so I figured it must be an issue for you (aint it for all of us?). Stay strong, K
so maybe you will be fine).
