DANG! I think I blew it... I reacted to an email exchange today and I don't think I should have.
LMK how badly you think I blew it.
Here it is: Me to H: DS's meeting is scheduled for Tues 7:30 at school. You do not have to be there.
H to Me: I don't mind going. Do you want me to be there? You seem to not want to see me or hear from me.
Me to H: Do what you feel is best.
"You seem to not want to see me or hear from me." You have made it clear our relationship is over, so I don't feel there is much of a point in seeing you or hearing from you. (AND, I like being off the crazy train! ;-))
But you are still his father so I feel compelled to keep you informed of major issues. It seems you'd like your relationship with the kids over too. LMK if info is an imposition.
H to me: I have not made it clear the relationship is over. It is hard not seeing you. I am not sure how I am supposed to do that.
But I don't know if I am just supposed to leave you alone so you can be "off the crazy train" or let you know I miss you.
Lot's of stuff still running through my mind every day. Still going to counseling.
And no, I don't want my relationship with the kids over.
Stuff sure is f*&ked up.
Actually thought you would want me to go to the dinner. But I imagine white knight Chip was there to save you ....
Me to H: "I have not made it clear the relationship is over." You left me for another person.
"It is hard not seeing you." You left me for another person.
"I am not sure how I am supposed to do that." By leaving me for another person.
"But I don't know if I am just supposed to leave you alone so you can be "off the crazy train" or let you know I miss you." Moot. You left me for another person.
"Lot's of stuff still running through my mind every day. Sttill going to counseling." Good. You are messed up. You left me for another person.
"And no, I don't want my relationship with the kids over." They feel you left them for another person.
"Stuff sure is f*&ked up." Cuz you left me for another person.
"Actually thought you would want me to go to the dinner." Actually thought you'd be there.
"But I imagine white knight Chip was there to save you ...." I am ok. Really, I am getting to a good place. I do not need saving. I have read a lot about knights in shining armor but that is your role. I couldn't find the links I was thinking of but this one will do:
I am sorry if my tone sounds harsh. I don't mean to be. Things just appear very simple to me now. I am sorry you are still not happy. I had hoped setting you free on the path of your choice would make it so. We have all paid a heavy price for your happiness, I hope you find it.
So... if he goes in the morning, should I just be as if, smile and say hi? Or should I mention the email?
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
