I keep going back to the part about the rape thing, remarriage, and I can't help but feel for you. It sounds really, really rough.
But why should you have to become cold and rough? Why not be yourself and try to enjoy that? Maybe there is a better direction for your life, married or not, that you can go toward. Would you want to get there bitter? Pray. Relax. Open your mind to new possibilities. Maybe she'll com around. Maybe not.
