Looking for Advice

[Deep]

GW: You really get the point? I'm not going to assume I can mind read Sandi, but er why the HECK are you not only being a pair of (whatever) shoes, but happily BEING that pair of shoes and thinking gee, "I wish I could be a better pair of shoes so she'll take me dancing".

There's something terribly wrong with that picture, or maybe it's just me.

If you were that killer lil black dress that any woman would LOVE to wear out partying, that in fact, another woman could very well be wearing out partying, you think maybe W might look at you a little differently?

If you stay being that old pair of "shoes that could", you best be prepared to spend a lot of time in the bottom of the closet, alone. Because W would wanna dance really, and when her toes start to hurt, she might dig you out and actually let you help her feel safe and comfy.

You're hitting a rocky part of the road where the decisions aren't always easy - keeping W engaged while maintaining your DB position. Rocked said the same thing in a different way. WAS need to be forced out of the comfort zone and take a stand, and crises precipitates this.

Edit: Big plus if she woud agree to go to Retro, and do so with an open mind. I have huge respect for how it helps couples try to mend their Ms. Wouldn't be here without that program myself ...