Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

mindfull,

I am totally helpless right now, other than to offer words of encouragement. I keep telling him to hang in there, that I will be home soon.

He got his school progress report today as well, not doing so good in a few classes. THIS is due to W not helping him with homework, encouraging extra work etc.

I sit here, angry, and frustrated.

[mindfull]

I'd be f'n pissed, too.

[MichelleLT]

Seriously though. Not cool.

But as you pointed out, this is something you have limited control over until you are home. Can you call a neighbor or family member to check on them at least?

[SoldierDad]

LT,
there isn't much I can do other than to offer encouragement to them. W doesn't listen to anything I say about them anyway. I just want to get back there, and be their Dad again. About 6 more weeks!

[givingitmyall]

Hang in there man. Been lurking and not posting much.

Sorry you are having to deal with this. But you will be home in 6 weeks.

You are doing really well. Keep it up. Deal with the justified anger and keep moving forward.

[goldeylox]

SD, I'd like to offer a different approach, and just bear with me and think about it...
Kids can withstand a lot of chitt. More than we think.

When anyone initiates a 'discussion' about "the person formerly known as Goldey's Hus" and it makes me uncomfortable, I simply say, "I don't want to talk about this right now." And I change the subject. It works at least 75% of the time, and if you repeat the phrase, "I don't want...", you'll be surprised to learn that people will quickly move on to the next drama. Sorry, even the kids.

Chin up, man. You're goind a great thing. Now hurry home!

[OnceBurdened]

He is tired of fast food etc.

He was telling me how she has talked to him about living arrangements and such, and that he can live with her M-F, and he lives with me S-S! I told him it didnt work that way, and that we don't have to worry about that stuff right now.

It really got me angry, in a way that I haven't been in a while now. My kids are everything to me, and this really pissses me off.

I know where you are here Bro. Hissed off doesn't describe how I felt when I found out W took my D to look at rent houses.

What changed it is when I finally got done ranting I offered to pay her deposit!!

Stay away from that trap she is immature and below you. I think you did the right thing by teling S not to worry about it right now. Bcuz that is exactly right.

You sound good my friend.

[SoldierDad]

over,

I am much better today, thank you!

Took a few steps back the other day, but have gotten back on track.

It's all a control thing with her. I just can't fall into that trap again, and ALLOW her to take control. It's mine to give, or hold onto. I'm hanging onto it!

My boys are smart, and can see what is going on, and what she is doing to try to manipulate them. She has a knack of doing the same thing to me sometimes.

I am living the DREAM! I love me some ME!

[TulsaTime]

It does my heart good to see you getting stronger SD. I wonder if your boys are at an age that THEY can decide who they'd rather live with?

[SoldierDad]

Tulsa, my L has already petitioned for the boys to meet with the judge in chambers to discuss that very matter. I'm praying that my W hasn't poisoned them so bad, that they are in a "fog" as well.

I've accepted a worse case scenario, and am prepared for the worst, but I have hope that my boys will make the right decision. Time will tell.