I too am saddened to see you this way, but I understand why you are there. I am going to be like Nut and keep on you as well.
You were there for me at my darkest of times and did nothing but support and kick my ass when it was needed. Now, it is my time for you, my friend.
Your drive is lost and your heart and spirit are broken. Get your bike out and ride. I don't care if you are clean or not, but get on some clothes and shoes and go ride. Ride until you feel like stopping.
Do it for yourself. Do it for your kids. Just go ride again...even if it is just around the block.
Push the petals. Get it done. Just do it!
You came back for a reason and we're here to encourage you to move.
Go for a ride, my friend. Find a way to get it done.