Yes, I could sell to anyone other than him. The trouble is we both love the (tiny) town, and are involved enough in community projects that we both want to stay here. There are a lot of good houses for sale all around me. But then we would be in the same tiny town forever.
He is on the planning commission, and technically he HAS to live here to be on that board.
I am on the rescue squad and do not have to live in town for that. But it would mean sleeping at the station when I am on duty, which would be a drag.
I am giving semi-serious thought to going to school for nursing, and then giving insane thoughts to moving to Vancouver. Beautiful city; wouldn't ever see X there; lots of biking, hiking, snowboarding, coffeeshops. Seems like a gal could have a whole lot of fun there.
But seriously, I did think: why not get the hell out of Dodge? My workplace is going through a big upheaval; I like my rescue work very much and would like to be an emergency room nurse (and volunteer for rescue projects like Haiti) and why not start a whole new life across the continent?
Other than sadness at losing all my friends here, that is...
Have others made huge career/living moves post divorce, and have it be for the good? not just running away, that is.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
Next steps: Spoke with retirement financial advisor today about pulling funds from retirement account to cover house. Can't do it. Have an app't with other financial advisor in two weeks. Will talk more about liquidating all that I can. Called my cousin who is a D lawyer to get more advice on dealing with the house/pressure from X. Left a message. I have time off next week; will contact local L to get consults, directions, suggestions.
Please help with support that I CAN say "I won't talk about the house right now." I just don't feel confident I have the right to say that, as it is co-owned.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
Avermont we should get together and commiserate. You in the North or South? I'm in N. Central.
Me 42/ W 40 /S 16 Married 15 Bomb dropped 11/18/2009 Nuke dropped 12/7/2009 EA/likely PA confirmed and busted 2/28/2010 Still separated in the same house and cant wait for this to end 5/8/2012
Please help with support that I CAN say "I won't talk about the house right now." I just don't feel confident I have the right to say that, as it is co-owned.
Aver, Does BF know you want to buy the house? It is possible he'd be OK w you buying him out? Can you say to him, I really want to buy you out of the house, but I need some time to explore all my financial/legal options? Or don't tell him you want the house but you need some time to think this over and need to discuss with your financial advisor.
Your L should have better advice but it seems reasonable to me for you to tell him you need some time. And don't give him a deadline that you'll decide by. I made that mistake before. You are both 50/50 co owners, & after living there for how long, even if you didn't buy it you have to figure where you're going live. Again, see what the Ls say. The veterans should be by soon with better advice.
Oh, no, he wants the house. Just sent me a very formal proposal that I must agree to by March 31. Going to buy me out.
No way is he going to accept me buying him out. No way am I going to have him move her in here---hang her clothes in my closet, her toothbrush in my medicine cabinet.
I have a call into my cousin the L, and will spend time tomorrow talking to lawyers.
It's just the pain--which you all know about! of getting such cold, hard, ugly letters. How the f**k did this happen to our love?
A year ago this time we were watching Obama get inaugerated, and all was right with the world.
Advice, please, from the experts on HOLDING OUT; Working with L; being strong and getting past this; if I do lose the house, coping with the OW taking over my place and presence.
God help me here.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
