Dusk at Dawn.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

P.S.

You handled the exchange very well, btw.

[chatterbug]

Hey P a switchup... Email on a monday

Hi cutter,

Let me know when you're available to meet. We may not even need to meet, but it might be easier. I'll leave it up to you. I will send you a revised version of the agreement. Minor revisions. Can you also forward a statement of your RRSP's as of #######.
As I mentioned, I'm free Friday evening.

Can we also determine a schedule for any home improvements you have planned or need to do prior to the sale of the house. I'd like to incorporate something to confirm that we intend to list the house by a certain date.

If you're sending me something on short notice, please send it to my blackberry, as I don't have internet at home right now, and am not able to check this account everyday.


Hope to talk to you soon.
ladybug

[chatterbug]

So P17 here is what I am going to do.

I am going to text her on Wed that I would like to speak to her on the phone that night and if she can call at 8pm.

I am then going to tell her we can meet up Friday night for dinner and to sign the papers.

I am then going to enjoy my week and determine if I want to pave the road home this friday or close the door. I am undecided.

[P17]

I am then going to enjoy my week and determine if I want to pave the road home this friday or close the door. I am undecided.

Cutter, I'm envious. I wish my NC had worked so well. But what Gnosis said made me think. I'm not really under NC here - W probably knows when I fart, assuming she wants to know (which I'm not convinced about).

I am with PDT on this. Maybe not his timeline, but I'm with him. I think she'll be back. How much effort she puts in is another question, but she will be back.

I would also bet that the A is fizzling out. She has her own apartment now - why spend all that money for less than half a week in it? And you also said she wanted to have a family and found a sort of ready made one in the OM - however she's not exactly getting to indulge in that fantasy as she is escorted off the premises when the kids turn up.

Her email made me smile too. You have made a big impression on her, you do know that don't you?

Anyway, I have no doubt whatsoever you'll handle it. I pray that I reach the same position you're in sometime soon. I see you and Ladybug having a future. I wished that mine was as rosy with Mrs P. I'm kind of jealous In a good way. You deserve it mate ...

[chatterbug]

Its funny P. I do not see it. I think I surprised her. I was suprised by that email. I figured she was going to wait to I contacted her. I am tired P. Just like you.

[chatterbug]

I give her two weeks. She will hit a crisis point, and come begging you back. Be prepared with what you want, as you may only get one shot at this.

In the meantime, be courteous, upbeat, and GIVE GRACE. It will serve you well if you decide you want to reconcile.

I don't think you two are done. Could even come AFTER a D, but I don't think you're done.

Puppy

Puppy I have been thinking about this post since I read it.

Do I know what I want?

This is what I want.

1. One husband and One wife. Exclusive to each other. No one else.
2. Both wanting the Marriage. Both willing to rebuild our pride in our marriage. Both willing to rebuild the pleasure of each others company in private and in public.
3. I will no longer be a part time husband. A marriage requires a commitment of time, I will not settle for a work aholic who comes and goes with different pasttimes. Build a commitment of time again with shared pastimes.
4. Open and honest communication on the state of the marriage and the surrounding influences on the marriage.
5. Complete transparancy on all communication devices and thoughts and schedule.
6. Complete transparancy on the affair. The 5 W's.
7. Retroville to begin to learn to communicate again. Then MC with a pro DB counciler with expereince on how to deal with affairs.
8. An open converation about children again and a resolution on this issue.
9. Absolutly no contact with OM. Full NC letter , communication with OMW's on this. Full STD Testing.
10. Repair our relationships with family and friends together. rebuild a united marriage that faces the world.
11. Once these are met. Recommit to our vows on a different day.


I say this with the full knowledge that I will not settle for anything less. I am important to myself. If ladybug is not willing to offer this. Then I move on and I will keep these wants and one day if another person will be willing to meet these with me. I will fully share myself with that person. But that is not what is important. What is important that I will live my life and seek pleasure , overcome pain and be true to myself.

This is the one lesson I learned here. Always be true to yourself. No matter what.

I have suffered through so much to learn this lesson. I will not shield myself from myself ever again. I will settle for nothing less from myself.

[mindfull]

Cutter, fell offline last night...

I just read your list. Your sense of self is commendable. You're right that you shouldn't settle for less.

Good luck, my friend.

[chatterbug]

Mindfull Thank you.

That list. She only sees #1 until it is met. Then the rest will follow. Perhaps a high level overview. That's it. I will not waste my time taking about my wants when there is an OM.

If she asks if I love her still.

I will be honest. My love for you has drained and continues to drains each day that you are in an affair. Right now it is running on fumes.

That is the line I have drawn. I will not step back.

[rockedworld]

Good for you Cutter! You deserve nothing less!

[avermont]

Wow, CB, what wonderful clarity.

Thanks for sharing the lessons you have learned, and the clear definition of what is vital to a good marriage.

You will do what is right, no matter what.