Just want my H back

[25yearsmlc]

h, are you saying you have NOT contacted a L yet? If not, do so immediately. You have assets at stake and I refuse to listen to idiots talk about the cost of seeing a L when all you need to do MAYBE, is listen to one for an hour or two and pay them for their words. If you don't want to go that route, at least you'll be armed with information. I have seen SO MANY people try to save money by nickel and diming on L's only to end up fighting much more than they would have if they had at least consulted with one. L's are also great for making boundaries. (Yes it helps more with kids but might apply in your sitch too)

In California it's fairly predictable as it relates to property - but hiring one for consultation is mandatory in that you KNOW what is likely and whether it's worth fighting. I found it empowering. Ask for stats, cases gone to trial etc. But other states are less predictable and for me, that means even more the reason to CONSULT a L. You do NOT have to hire them after the consultation, nor do you have to sue or sign or anything but if you sign anything without a L, you will regret it. Your doubts will haunt you and that will corrupt your R with your x H AND he won't respect you more for signing without a L...honestly, he won't.

So see a L and ask the range of worst case scenarios, versus likely and best case, etc. Pay for a few hours of their time. Don't tell your h if you don't want to. He does NOT need to know at this point.

He may fear you want restitution for enabling him to earn so much more and guess what? That IS an argument you have in some states....look into it. So what if it motivates him to be KINDER to you, not meaner? Why would you having some power over your assets make him less kind? If anything, he'll feign cooperation to get along and save money and poss have MORE contact with you...and who knows? He may stop feigning and start seeing you as more of a catch AND let him get in touch with the loss of you, in all it's dimensions.

what have you got to lose by consulting a L? Don't be penny wise and pound foolish and ...NEVER ever ever think that your man will respect or love you more, OR come back to you, b/c you did NOT consult a L....

The fear of losing so much wealth DID scare my h...so what? As far as I am concerned, losing lots of money was even more motivation for my h to make it work with us. I mean that. I don't like it, but I know it's true...
With that work, came other reasons for making things work. Frankly, I don't care what gets them motivated...as long as it grows into the right reasons.

j-