W found another place to rent. She is very happy and thinks her being more stable will be what she really needs. She expects me to facilitate everything for her.
me 31 her 31 ilybinilwy 10-2-09 i moved out 12-13-09 boy 7 girl 3 boy 16 months
I fell off the detachment wagon this week after having the emotional connection with W last weekend. Luckily I didn't let my emotions get the best of me while she was around. I just stayed kind/ polite and fun. Just read the detachment article on LIVESTRONG and feel better than ever. I think I will try to make a point of reading that article everyday to stay on track. I feel so happy when I understand what I can control.
me 31 her 31 ilybinilwy 10-2-09 i moved out 12-13-09 boy 7 girl 3 boy 16 months
Because they're the Vikings. And they'll break your heart every time (see "Stram, Hank" and "Cowboys, Dallas: HAIL MARY PASS"), et al, circa 1969 - 1974. Republished 2010.
It feels better when you have to deal with someone else's problems.
Forget about the Vikings, focus on that part. It's something a friend of mine suggested to me, and he called it "get out of self" - if you're thinking about someone else's problems you're not focusing so much on yours. Getting your mind off of your WAW is the best thing you can do to GAL.
H28 | WAW24 | S8 | D5 | SD2 | D1 | T6 | M1 My Story | My Motivation
Actually WAW sitch is doing good lately. We are communicating very well, no fighting, and enjoying each others company. I find her sticking around longer and longer almost everyday. Anyhow, just enjoying myself and finding a lot of new things to keep my life interesting.
me 31 her 31 ilybinilwy 10-2-09 i moved out 12-13-09 boy 7 girl 3 boy 16 months
W moving to her new place this weekend. She took the day off today to try and get some stuff organized from our house for moving day. W was talking about how she just needs stability in her life and the house I am in (6200 ft sq and full of continual projects and costs a lot of money) is not what she needs. I took offense to this as I am also one that wants the "simple life".
W must have seen that I was upset while she was complaining and asked me what was wrong. I told her this is not what I want either. It was my misunderstanding of her that made me intrigued to buy it. I saw it as a short term investment with huge potential to set us up in a very good financial position in a few years. Unfortunately, our economy crashed and my great idea looks like a pipe dream.
Been discussing what we want in our futures (us not being together) and it seems like we really have the same goals and ideas of what a marriage should look like.
me 31 her 31 ilybinilwy 10-2-09 i moved out 12-13-09 boy 7 girl 3 boy 16 months
W over last night to watch kids. She has to get some more items together and then she can start keeping the kids at her place. I think it is going to work much better with her farther away.
When she arrived I could tell that she was upset. Before I left she says that (my mom watches the kids on MON.) mom was acting cold when she picked up the kids and she knows that my family hates her for what she is doing and that our sitch is all her fault. She says that in future relationships I need to stand up for partner no matter what. (my mom and W had blow up a couple of years ago and she doesn't feel like I took her side). Continues on how her family loves me and is their for me and my family hates her and always had treated her poorly. She said she hears about everything I am doing and that the whole town (small town) thinks that she is the "bad" guy in this whole deal. I assure her that I have never thrown her under the bus and that I only speak the truth about what is happening. I tell everyone that I understand where W is at and that in her mind their is nothing that could be done to make it better.
I leave and go to brother's basketball game. The first 15 minutes is spent stewing about W and how I am going to go home and rip her a new one. I feel that my family treats her exactly like she treats them, her family loves me because I love them, I reach out to them, I care for them and I help them whenever I can. W also said that when she thought about us getting back together she just knows we never could because of my family.
Finally I cool down and come to my senses. I enjoy the rest of the game, Go home and hug W tell her that I am very sorry for the way that my family has treated you. They didn't give you the amount of love and respect that you deserve. She is always questioning me about "is this what the internet or your books tell you to do?"
I tell her that everything I am learning about has nothing to do with her. I understand that reconciliation is something that is not that common, but I just want to come to peace with my situation and be able to find the man that I had lost during our M. I end the night asking to ML in a flirty sort of way (I am in a very confident, playful mood and it doesn't matter what she says) She smiles and says that "we can't do that". I smile and tell her playfully to Get the f---k out of the house you sl-t. She smiles and is on her way.
me 31 her 31 ilybinilwy 10-2-09 i moved out 12-13-09 boy 7 girl 3 boy 16 months
mom was acting cold when she picked up the kids and she knows that my family hates her for what she is doing and that our sitch is all her fault. She says that in future relationships I need to stand up for partner no matter what. (my mom and W had blow up a couple of years ago and she doesn't feel like I took her side). Continues on how her family loves me and is their for me and my family hates her and always had treated her poorly.
or this:
Quote:
I feel that my family treats her exactly like she treats them, her family loves me because I love them, I reach out to them, I care for them and I help them whenever I can.
or this??
Quote:
me and hug W tell her that I am very sorry for the way that my family has treated you. They didn't give you the amount of love and respect that you deserve.
If you didn't stand up for her in the past, then you need to own it. But if it's b.s., then maybe it would be better to say "I'm sorry; that must be really hard for you right now," or some other "value-neutral" validation statement. And you CERTAINLY don't have to lie or "rescue" to cover up for her recent decisions.
