Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Thanks Rocked! Gosh I hope you are right. I also really wish my W understood better the financial considerations, but I don't think she does. She is very comfortbale in that the nest egg we have built is larger than most at our age, and can thus probably over-come the financial fall out. I don't think she has any idea how costly this will be and if she did, she is more afraid of financial security than anything else.

The give 100% is a new phrase I came up with yesterday and really like it. It really seemed to spark something with her, much more so than words like piecing or trying or one day at a time. She asked a lot of questions about what 100% means to me and the beauty is that I can't define it and won't. I just keep on saying it means I can look the girls in the eye and look at myself in the mirror if things don't work out and say I gave it everything I had it just didn't work. And I'm not there yet.

She waffles some, but not as much as I like. Her strength and conviction comes and goes. Last night, not as strong. This morning, stronger again.

I'm hearing give space and stop pushing from two of my trusted friends and advisors - Rocked and Lost - so that needs to be the focus.

It would be good for her to break the routine tonight, we'll see. Meaning leaving work early and not working all night alone in the basement (and that doesn't bother me one bit any more which is huge step for me). Breaking the routine would show a significant waffle. I am going to lead by example with this tonight. I am going to leave early to go get dog food (which we are out of). We always let each other know when we are leaving because of day care with the kids, so I'll leave early and let her know I'm stopping for dog food and then have the kids. See if that sparks similar action on her part.