The short time I've been on these boards I have noticed that many times it takes a "crisis" to push the WAS into making a decision about the M. Often that takes the form of exposure, the A getting out, kids/family finding out etc. But, in your case, I wonder if this job sitch might be the "crisis" needed. Many times, when push comes to shove, a WAS has to face whether they really have the courage to leave a marriage, break up the family, deal with the financial consequences of D etc. Your W does not sound ready for all that to me. There is a whole lot of waffling going on.
I think you should not push, validate her feelings, but deal with choices that have to made, as they have to be made. Keep standing your ground... you choose this M, you want to do what is best for the kids, you want to everything possible to give this M 100% etc. She will then have some difficult choices to make and I don't think she has the guts. Just my opinion...
