Kalni...the only positive thing that I have to say is that you have now found a stage on which the two of you can openly express what is on your mind. No matter how many people preach to you here...about love and patience and hope etc...there is nothing you can do if the other spouse is unwilling to do the work and change.

After being here for so long, I have seen some miracles. Sadly, they are very few, very spaced apart and so very rare. I am not sure why so many people preach for some of us to stay in unhealthy relationships at ALL costs...at the expense of the children and your own health. Unless one is purely a religious stander, some marriages are just not meant to be saved.

So, at the risk of all reading this, I say to YOU, Maria, that time is still on your side. You have now started counseling. Your H is opening up a bit. However, without his willingness to do the work and WORK HARD to piece, you can only work on your OWN attitudes and actions. Perhaps, then, your MC can see things you can't in this department and you can embark on new change if you agree.

Every marriage is worth fighting for Maria. Sadly, even Michelle of DB will say that not all marriages should be saved.

Take your time. Only YOU will know. Praying for you as well.

Sagapo.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;