Thanks T!! How are you holding up? Will check on you later...
So, June, the way I see things we are at a turning point. In the MC we started slow but pretty soon all sorts of emotions surfaced, from both of us.
Taking a step back, H wants to "leave everything behind". Like most of the WASs do. No surprise there. Also, I can see that his fog never really allowed him to realise what was hapening to "US". I think his actions were consistent about that the whole time of the separation. I was "family" part of his past and important part of his life and she was...love.
Now, after that loved died (or so I hope), he turns to his family (me) again. I also hope that love played a role there but that is yet to be determined.
What he offers now, is what he thought would be acceptable. Before I split for good this time, cause I will, I need to allow some time for him to realise I mean business about a few things. You see, he left a devastated, begging person, that would settle for almost anything, to come back and find a woman that has digged (or dug sp?) her heels and demands things he wasnt prepared to give. He thought I would be responsible and take initiative ofr the rekindle phase. He is actually getting impatient at times. And some times, I can see him, coming out from his comfort zone. Especially the last couple of weeks.
Telling him he is not the man I need if he cant handle my emotions, believe me, made him stop and think. He froze there for a min. And that is exactly what is happening now: I could almost hear him thinking "OMG, could she be serious? Did I awake the sleeping dog? I created a ...monster!!". Because he expected me to be happy with the fact that he is back and then "we would take it from there". I think the fact that he is living here and I am not asking him to move back in, is bothering him, the pieces have started to fall to their places, the fact that when I talk about the future he is not included (comes naturally) makes him wonder. Pretty soon he will have to make a choice/choices. I dont know what he will do and I dont know my level of tolerance, but it is happening. Until then, I am doing my best making myself clear and hoping this whole messy situation will improve. If not, my dealbreakers havent been revoked and my license to kill is still valid/intact. K
