Hey try- I too am in the same boat. My W wants a Sep and I don't. I feel like it is the natural step towards D. Everything I've read says that you should first try to work out the problems. They say the Sep is to take time away to see the problems. In my sitch, we know what they are already, so why not work them out? W doesn't want to. It's good to see a story like that of Coach- I need to see that, b/c I think Sep will drive us further apart, and we have no kids so that makes it very scarey for me. I've also read that people who separate sometimes each enjoy the lifestyle so much that they find it hard to want to committ again. I feel for you and am interested in your updates. Not sure when W will move out in my case...
My answer is i dont. I am waiting to be married to the person who married me in the first place. That person just isnt here right now...but hopefully will come back soon.
M:33 W:32 Married 10/28/07 C: B13 G10 (Both from different relationships) 12/30/09 Bomb Divorce Busted 2/04/10 5/15/12 Bomb 2
how many people have come back from a formal separation and ended up staying together?
Me.
Quote:
my boss just caught me crying at my desk and she said, why would you want to be married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you? i still haven't come up with a good answer for that...
Fukc her.
Quote:
i appreciate that, coach. you do have a longer history with your spouse, though...and you have children, which is not a factor for my H and i.
Your situation being different doesn't mean your outcome will be different. This is up to you, if you're looking for reasons to give up, listen to people like your boss, they are all over the place including your family and friends.
Finding a reason to do your best for as long as you can is sheer stubborness and determination on your part. And that is not a bad thing.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
My answer is i dont. I am waiting to be married to the person who married me in the first place. That person just isnt here right now...but hopefully will come back soon.
People change. Maybe you should wait for an even better person to be married to and hopefully that person used to look a lot like the person you married way bad when. But even better ...
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
j3b, my boss didn't mean her comment in a negative way. i can see how it would come across as negative, but she said it during a very insightful conversation with me about my H and i.
i'm not looking for reasons to give up. but i am looking for reasons to be hopeful. there aren't many.
although the reverend at my church said on sunday that faithfulness at a time when things seem most bleak is what allows us to persevere. so. those are words i'm trying to live by.
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
