here we go again

[Jstar]

Thanks for support. If he walks like a duck talks like a duck, looks like a duck, it's probably a duck.

ever since i came out of being dark weeks ago i can't get ahole of myself and feelings. the past couple days, whether it be prebirth jitters, stress, hormones, situation all of everything i'm a mess.

I don't want to love this man, don't want tohave feelings for him, i don't want stop living my life but i can not get free from how i feel.
d2 and i go to classes every saturday for her to learn soccer, we spend the rest of the weekends cleaning and trying to keep the house up with the animals.

i just feel this weight coming on me even more, the birth is weeks away, my h is supposed to be there by my belief system, supportive, making sure d2 is looked after while i try to recover from surgery and i get well jstar if you were nice to me.

i would go talk to counselor but i can't take off work, i'm all ready going to go 5 weeks without pay on maternity leave, have doctors appointments 2-3 week and rushing to get d2 from daycare so it doesn't cost so much.

my niece and her bf are great, but after the past week i know my issues and problems are just burdening on them. i feel like i did in the beginning of november.