Gladly. But, of course, my experience with my spouse and one particular mediator: no sweeping judgements, here.
I had been warned by someone who went through mediation:
1) Mediators sometimes seem to side with/favor the spouse who originally contacted and contracted with them. I think this was true -at times- in my case: Wife and mediator conducted a flurry of emails and phone calls. I needed to email mediator only once - and received a reply eight days later.
2) Mediators seem to side with the same-gender party. Ditto, here, too.
Admittedly, 1) and 2) may be a case of my seeing what I was looking for, but I don't think so.
3) In mediation (as I just told Bridgestone), you and spouse are in the same room, face-to-face, side-by-side and the same old dynamics and emotions that got you to this point in the first place hang over the proceedings and interject themselves quite often - it can get snippy and petty on the part of the more bitter spouse.
For that reason (#3) and because I was/am a Mr. Nice Guy and wound up compromising way too much, I put a stop to the whole thing in December. Told them both that everything thus far was null and void and we re-start the whole process anew. I also told mediator that she'll really have to mediate from this point onward since she will have to relay everything back and forth between spouse and I because I will no longer negotiate in my wife's presence. And I do believe the Mediator seemed fairer and more impartial from that point on.
4)The mediator "mediated" far less than I would have expected. In other words, she often just sat there or said , "what do you guys think?" whenever we hit an impasse. I would then turn to her and say, "Your thoughts? Opinion? Mediate, please!"
That being said, I do think that overall, Mediation was smoother, quicker, cheaper and less "war-like" than traditional lawyer vs. lawyer divorce.
And D is - finally - the day after tomorrow.
Hope that helps, Dane.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
