H is in MC with me H spends time with me before bed watching a show, relaxing. H stopped telling me I needed to be gone the nights he's here. H has started owning his side of things and apologizing H is staying way more calm with S and I We have been able to talk about our issues at times, hear each other, stay calm. H is not blowing up at me every time he is here. I am not calling him/texting him - waiting for him to, or keeping my messages very breif. I am calming myself down when I feel angry and like exploding at H. Calming my inner panic without need for H to do anything to make me feel better. Doing things to make me happy instead of trying to please or calm H down.
New 180's: Be more independent Not feel I have to fix H's anger Be more in control of my finances Be less available to H (busier when H is here) Continue to do things that make me happy instead of trying to avoid H's anger/criticism Stand up for myself more Leave when H is angry/hostile Work toward my dream of my own business Work on feeling ok about separation/divorce/MeTime Stay as calm as possible Be more gentle and forgiving of self Cook more Be more organized
Wooh. That's a tall order.
Any more ideas? LR, I scanned your old thread again last night. I'm so impressed at your early 180's and NC and it really worked. Even though H is around me a lot, I need more ideas on how to be less available to him. Without teasing that I may be out dating or anything - that would be too big of a button since I dated for a short time when H left and it made things worse. while we are in MC and on the fence, I need to stay comitted, without giving myself totally away.
