Hope is the thing with feathers....

[Gardener]

Bridge,
I've been lurking around since I moved over here to Big D. Figured it's time to chime in and make myself known.

We hopefully had the last mediation meeting this morning. This went very well..

End result.. I've got a good deal,... much better financially & custody-wise of D15, than I would get in court and it fits me emotionally..which may sound b--chy

Glad you got a good deal with Mediation. Me, not so much, but I can live with it. I'm not a fan of Mediation now, since you are side-by-side, face-to-face with spouse throughout. And the same old dynamics and emotions hang over it and cloud it every step of the way, imo.

If the timeline the mediator laid out this morning holds, I should be divorced by the end of February.

Me, the day after tomorrow. Finally.

Relief & sadness all at the same time..
relief for the new beginnings and sadness for the loss of hopes, dreams, partnerships, etc..

Yep, and those ever present - and continuing - "might have beens."
Good Luck.
Endure.
And peace to you.

[Bridgestone]

My one hope is that you both find common ground that both of you can live with and be civil with each other.

I know... me too.. I keep thinking about sitting next to him at our childrens weddings, grandchildren's baptisms, etc... civility and respect hopefully will make those family events the joyous occassions they should be.

Good luck Bridge I am glad you made a decission and it's what you want. As long you get to spend quality time with your D I am sure everything will work out on that end also.

It will be what it will be, good or bad remains to be seen.

Take care,

planning to.. going to hit some golf balls tomorrow to work off some of the stress that has accumulated these past few months. Thank goodness for indoor recreation in this frozen tundra! Wish you were here to enjoy a cold one afterwards!

Peace
Bridge

[Bridgestone]

Hi Bridge.

I'm glad you decided to stay on the path you're on.

me too & with few other friends & family I have shared this with.. I get the same response from them as well. Not that it should matter, but it is nice to know that those that really know me... are glad for this decision for me.

As for the divorce...it's a helluva thing...and a damn shame that things wind up this way.

.. yep.. just straight up sad... anger just covers that up.. if she's angry.. it's a top level emotion for something deepr.

I hope your healing is coming along well.

I have taken a break from IC for the past couple months or so. I need to go back to deal with some of this grief & new phase of my life.

Please stick around here. You help.

Thanks... I give what I can, when I can. It's up to those I give, to take what they can from it. Not everyone wants to hear from us WAW's

Thanks for your support & advice for my sitch. You help too.
Peace
Bridge


antlers [/quote]

[Bridgestone]

Bridge,
I've been lurking around since I moved over here to Big D. Figured it's time to chime in and make myself known.

Hi.. gardener... thanks for stopping by & making yourself known! I appreciate another friend stopping by my corner of this quirky neighborhood.

Glad you got a good deal with Mediation. Me, not so much, but I can live with it. I'm not a fan of Mediation now, since you are side-by-side, face-to-face with spouse throughout. And the same old dynamics and emotions hang over it and cloud it every step of the way, imo.

Actually our mediator didn't 'mediate'.. he legalized what we brought him...I was NOT impressed with this guys skills. He would be good if 2 parties at gotten to an impasse, through traditional mehtods of lawyer vs. lawyer...but he was NOT the typical "tell me about your positions & 'why' you think that.. in order to build consensus from two people committed to finding a common ground.

There were plenty of late night, all day long phone calls with my STbX.. hammering things out. Thankfully, it was 600 miles apart.. we spent less than 6 hours side-by-side in the mediators office... but I can undestand why it could be difficult.

Good Luck.
Endure.
And peace to you.

thanks.. back at ya.. & stop back anytime!
Bridge

[goldeylox]

Hugs Bridge. Thinking of you today for some reason. love, Goldey

[Gardener]

Bridge,
Glad you had/are having a good Mediator experience. Before mine melted down and I called the whole thing off the day before D (which was to have been today) I used to look at her (mediator) when stbxw and I hit an impasse or even just a minor sticking point while mediator just sat there and watched and I'd eventually say, "Well? Mediate!"

Exhausting. Frustrating.

[Bridgestone]

Gardener..I can understand why you'd be frustrated with that. I hope you can get some resolution going the more traditional route. Sometimes you just have to get to the point where there's 'nothing left to lose'.
====
I'm Having a bit of a rough time tonight.

Those little intangibles that were/are still interwoven between StBX and myself, legally as husband & wife, are finally unraveling... makes me sad.

I know I just need to sit with the feeling & 'feel' it, just let it be what it is.

I've gotten better at that over the past 3 years.. heck when I first left I couldn't even name a feeling I was having, now I am comfortable being in the moment with 'being' anything.. and then deciding how to act on it, think about it... very different way to approach life. A much better & more healthy way for me to approach my life.

I'm off to listen to my 'mellow' playlist on my iPod and cry for a bit over what was.

thanks for listening
peace
Bridge

[Bridgestone]

Oh.. goldey.. sorry about not seeing you there earlier... thanks for the thoughts & the hugs.. I guess I needed them now not earlier.. maybe that was the reason

thanks

[goldeylox]

(((bridge)))
More hugs, honey. Make giant puddles, it's okay.

[antlers]

Hey Bridge. Just checking in on ya'. Hope you are doing OK.