Ring On or Ring Off????

[ddstartingover]

You are right.................I am such a VERY slow learner. I think J3B you were the first person that responded to my very first post over 2 years ago. I am the worst student --- and have failed in so many ways.

Lots to think about and read about as regard to this legal process.

For the record, this was my e-mail from H last Thursday:

I'm sorry to do this while you have the kids. I wanted to say this while I had them so that it wouldn't interrupt your time with them and I didn't get it done. I'm sorry for not doing this in person, but in the past, that has produced so much unnecessary drama for the kids that I write you now in the hope it will be productive.

Several months ago, on the porch, with Emily and K on the couch in the living room, you said that if there's anything I want you to do with respect to us, I needed to tell you what that was. I want you to hire one of the lawyers recommended to you by Terri to help us with the necessary legal things that will end our marriage. There is no current need to designate one of them as our mediator. Mediators are who you hire when you can't agree. I doubt very strongly that a mediator will be necessary. So, one of those lawyers, held in high regard by Terri, should be hired by you to see if we can agree to the terms of our divorce. I believe that we will agree, without the need for a "mediator." I think I can manage things on my end, minimizing the cost of this process. If I'm wrong, and we disagree on some important topic, that will leave two other suggestions from Terri to pick as a mediator. If I'm right, we can work through all the issues, file an "agreed to" divorce and there will be virtually no court involvement in this process. If we need a mediator, we can work with one suggested by Terri and resolve any issues that we're unable to work through on our own.

Please select one of the suggested lawyers from Terri and ask them to contact me. If none of the three lawyers are appropriate to deal with a Missouri divorce (which is possible since Terri deals primarily with Kansas divorces), please ask Terri for some more suggestions. You need a lawyer. A good lawyer. But you don't need someone who treats this as a battle to the death or as a way to pay for his yacht, outside investments, or summer home. Surely, Terri has some suggestions that fit this bill. I'm 100% sure that we can work through the necessary issues so that the court will be irrelevant to this process and, most importantly, to our kids.

dgs