(((Aver)))), The hugs I definitely have. I'm so sorry you are in this place. Advice, I'll give it a try. You are right, he is definitely in the "fog", and therefore reasoning with him is probably not going to work, right now anyway. I've had people on here tell me nothing their S says makes sense. My H has contradicted himself many times which I learned is normal for the WAS.
Aver, even though I keep using S (for spouse) please know your R was a life-companion relationship, on par w a M. So don't undermine yourself by saying because you weren't legally married, BF was free to start another R. He is a WAS, it's just that in your case there's not all that legal stuff. Have you ever read Pearl Harbor's posts? She is also in a non-marital WA sitch. And I believe her R has been turning around. I can ask her to stop on your thread if you want.
Re: the house. Even though you're not married, maybe it would be a good idea to consult a lawyer. Many have a first free consult. (I took advantage of 3!) You are both on the title, so I'm not sure what happens if 1 co-owner wants to buy the other out, but other wants it. There may be common-law statutes in your area, I really don't know, but it might be good to find out your legal rights in your state. Or maybe a mediator. You also need to be in protect-yourself-mode my friend, said the pot calling the kettle black!
You are right, where BF lives when his lease is up, not your problem! The fact HE wanted you to move into the apt. (SO glad you didn't do that!!) & take over the house might even be legally suspect. It's sickening I know, the sh**y things the WA does. I think you maybe want to check this out w a L, or mediator, rather than a C for these reasons.
Aver, don't beat yourself up for being upset. You have every right to your emotions & need to grieve and feel them. You NEVER need to apologize for your pain. Believe me, after almost 10 mos. I still will have the crying jags. This is safe space for all of us in the same position.
Also, if BF is pressuring you, & you need time to sort it out, tell him that. This is a pretty big deal & not one you will be rushed into a decision on.
Please take care of yourself today. Can you do something nice/fun for yourself to get away from this for a bit? Hugs & lots of support (((((Aver))))).
