Ring On or Ring Off????

[ddstartingover]

I know I should stop with the emails, but I'm sorry I'm hurt all over again and any very minute step forward I made with my DBing efforts has been lost upon receipt of his email last Thursday. I know I'm not going to change his mind. I know I'm not going to reach him. I know we don't speak the same language.

Yes, I shouldn't have told him to take his ring off---but I did and I expected it to be off----still hurts all the same. I didn't expect him to argue with me about it meaning something----I'm still just hoping for something from him that will help me understand. I know, hoping for this is futile. Tell my heart that what my brain already knows.

I know he wants me to start this. I know he doesn't want to initiate----he thinks by being agreeable I will be happy. I also know that he is a personal injury lawyer----not a family law attorney. He can't write a divorce contract and doesn't want to hire someone to do it---that way he would have to admit to someone what he's done/doing.

I've dragged my feet for so long. Pushing for more time. He continues to say that we need to do this the right way for the kids and in a way to keep them out of this process. I just fear that if I don't act now----if I don't initiate the process somehow my kids will suffer. I don't know how or why, but then maybe I still don't understand the process.