So are there areas you neglected during your marriage that you can improve? And I bet your WH won't continue to ignore the kids. Have they let him know they miss him?
Yes, there are areas where I know I went wrong. I should have dragged him to a counselor much sooner. I carried a lot of resentment around with me, and displayed a lot of anger. My calm attempts to communicate w/ H were ignored. I felt he neglected me and the kids, and expected way too much from me and was unwilling to return anything. His excuse has always been "work". Included in "work" was going to workout 3 nights a week for 4-5 hours, Sat and sun lunches with friends, etc. I didn't begrudge this, until it interfered with school plays, recitals, etc. His activities always took priority over everything. Each morning, he would give me a "to-do" list a mile long. Some days I would go nuts trying to get it done, and others I would blow it off...I was really passive aggressive. He was all yell and bully. We just couldn't get on the same page in so many areas. Granted, he has been very successful and we live a very comfortable life, but I'd give it up for a happy family.
So, identifying and communicating my needs, wants and beliefs, and asserting myself appropriately, are big goals of mine.
The kids are ok, melancholy, but ok i think. I have assured them that Dad's state is temporary. I hope I am right. I used to get after H about his relationships with the kids, The lack of time he spends with them...got nowhere. He wonders why he fells like a cash cow!
He did invite DD16 to lunch yesterday...1 hour in 2 weeks WOW. I would have trouble not checking in daily! When DD16 was OOT over the Holiday break, I called her every day...had to.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
