I guess I should be grateful I did not read all of the SG's "luv" emails to the OW. My friend did, though, and she told me not to. So I didn't. I had her print copies of them, and held on to them for about the first six or seven months. Then I threw them away, and never read them.

I am glad for that now. I saw enough with the pictures and the one or two emails I did read.

I was watching something over the weekend, I think it was Ghost Whisperer, and one of the characters said "I don't deserve you." And the other said "It's not about what you do or don't deserve. It is what it is."

Sometimes I think just accepting the fact that you love someone, and that no matter what, part of you always will makes it a little easier. I tried to fight for such a long time to hate SG, but that didn't work either.

I am not sure that your self-esteem was low, but that you believed in your M. That is not something to smirk at. It takes an incredibly strong person to try to fix something that is broken, rather than walk away and get a new one. But sometimes, it is broken beyond repair.

Only you can decide when you stop trying to fix it.

Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..