Back here, for the second time... #69

[june72]

Boy, I know people here are going to be against what I say but... here it goes.
I have been reading and hoping maybe there would be some sort of turnaround for you and your hubby but.

He is doing almost nothing. His request for "peace" is selfish- his affair (his fault, all blame lies on him) decimated the marriage and now he wants to not have to answer for it. NO discussion, no upset... what can I say... "peace" means that he gets to move on and not do the hard work. Not to deal with your emotions and upset.

The lack of sex- you stated that was a dealbreaker. The refusal of a transparency plan with passwords and phone records. The laughing when you stated you wanted to go to Africa on his next trip, when he took the OW to his trips. Laughing? He is unwilling to spend time with you and argues his reasons as to why he can not.

I think his vision of marriage is that you do what ever appeases him and he does not do the same for you? Am I right? He lives with you, great? As roommates at best.

Why would you accept this? Do you think he is going to change. Even the marriage counselor noted that you have worked on the marriage and he has not.

I asked you before- where do you see things in a year from now. I will ask you again- where do you see things a year from now?


I am sorry Maria- I am not trying to knock you down. I just think you deserve better. I think what he is giving you is unacceptable. I think he will string you along with false hopes and just piecemeal "crumbs" to keep you in his life.

You stated quite a while back that he does not have it in him to do the work required to heal this marriage. Has your opinion changed on this?

You do not deserve this, and quite frankly- what is it showing (teaching) your children? Do you want this to be the norm for them so that when your son or daughter grows up they will be ok with a spouse treating them this way?