Question

[Lucky11too]

I don't know if I can trust him. I am scared. I am ok now with a D and although I don't want H to have visitation, I believe deep down if he wants a D he won't try for visitation because he doesn't want anything to do with me, but reconciling scares me. Funny how things have changed in the past few weeks, but I am scared of him not changing...

Wow, I could have written that. So true to my heart as well. I'm beginning to learn that reconciling is almost more scary then a D at this point b/c at least you know exactly what to expect with a D. I remember when H told me recently that he "could possibly see us working out", I felt like freaking out. It's what I want but it totally thru me back b/c I so fear him changing enough to get me back and then going right back to where we were. Definitely scary. But I guess that's the chance we take to save our M and our families. But anyways,very interesting. At least now he knows EXACTLY what he needs to do to come home. This is really his last chance b/c I can tell you're at the end of your rope and if he screws you again, it's D road. Definitely have your meeting so you can work out the deatils and show him that this is serious business - this is your life and S's life he's messing with and he needs to take it seriously too. I think you've got to trust him somewhat that if he agrees to come home it means he agrees with the circumstances of which it happens, but just be cautious too, since he continues to directly lie to you. Not cool that he said he hadn't talked to OW when he was sitting there talking to her at that very moment! Just take one step at a time. Start with this meeting and see what results that brings and then depending on that, you can pick your next course - hopefully a road that starts with MC and no OW! (but at least you'll be prepared if it goes the other way too.) =/

Oh, I had to snicker a bit on the part of H harping on church people. It’s just scary sometimes how similar these H’s are. H always tells me how he doesn’t want to go to church b/c church people are weird or hypocritical, or whatever other mean thing he can think of. Loved your response of the fact that you’re one of them. Have to keep that response in mind for next time. ;-)