H suddenly moved out 10 days ago...I'm devastated

[flowmom]

Flowmom, will the MARRIED male friend's WIFE know you are going with him? How will you know that he will tell her?

I think we might be running into some cultural differences on this forum? Where I live, it's generally understood that spouses have their own agreements and are responsible for sticking to them. I've always been a "long leash" spouse, but I have friends who are "short leash" spouses. I do think that it's up to my friend to communicate honestly with his wife about anything that affects their marriage. A friendly evening listening to jazz is not going to turn my friend into a deceitful husband who doesn't respect the boundaries of their marriage.

When I said this is how it all starts, I meant the "just friends" part of inappropriate relationships that start with crossing boundaries.

We're already "just friends" and there's nothing inappropriate about anything we've done, IMO. I doubt that either of our spouses would be the least bit concerned about our commmunications or actions to this point.

And you can say "I am just being platonic, chill out" ok so then his wife should be fine with it.

My friend should have a very good idea of his wife would be fine with it. And if she would not be fine with it, he shouldn't do it. Period.