In order to avoide living in doormat-land, I've received some sage advice from people here that I need to establish boundaries with my SO.
The problem is I'm very bad at confrontations and usually end up doing all the wrong things. (See my own sitch thread for blatant examples of this.)
The specific boundary I'm looking to set concerns my SO's relationship with an OM. She says they're "just friends", but I'm more inclined to believe its at least an EA, as they supposedly talk a lot and hang out together.
If it should become physical, I dont want anything more to do with my SO, and I did tell her in a conversation that if she was to be involved with this OM I would not be interested in being with her. However, she threw out some bread crumbs and agreed to spend time with me, and I'm not sure I properly established the boundary. I'm also worried that *that* would have been the time to firmly establish it, and rehashing things when in her mind its been put to rest is going to creat more problems than it will solve.
It seems when I'm working without a plan and or script, I waiver and even backpeddle.
I dont want it to come off as controlling...I've already seen what happens when I try to ask her to be faithful to me and I when I try to point out things about the OM...I am met with a firm "no", resentment and defense of him.
So do any of you have a good "script" that will politely but firmly establish this boundary with the consequences of her and I being done for good and not seeing or speaking to one another unless our daughter is ill/hurt without it provoking her or pushing her towards the OM?
